The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
