i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize