with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All I want is dick and wine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
