Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
