she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
