So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize