If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
