i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
