I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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