Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
