just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
