i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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