he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
