she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
