I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
