He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
