I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am naked and annoyed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
