No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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