Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
