Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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