Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
