Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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