Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
