so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
