The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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