Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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