check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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