I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
