She said her name was "party"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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