Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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