Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Drake has all the answers
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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