Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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