What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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