it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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