I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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