I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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