why didn't you poke me back
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
