ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
