Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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