Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
