My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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