can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
