I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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