He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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