I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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