I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
