I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
