i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
