porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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