Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
