Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
