he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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