Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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