just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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