I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
