i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
