Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
