Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize